Minu Portugal

Mäletan, kuidas aastaid tagasi Tartus Tiigi tänaval sõbrannaga kõndides temalt esimest korda EVSi kohta kuulsin. Tol hetkel teadsin, et ühel päeval võtan julguse kokku ja lähen ka. Viis aastat hiljem, peale ülikooli lõpetamist ja aastast tööpraktikat, oli aeg käes. Lendasin Portugali, et ühes puuetega inimeste keskuses aasta aega vabatahtlikuna töötada.


Arvasin enne minekut, et Portugal on tüüpiline lõunamaa. Et inimesed hilinevad igale kohtumisele vähemalt pool tundi, vesteldes karjuvad üksteise võidu ja lõunaajal peavad pikki siestasid. Oma suureks üllatuseks  mõistsin peagi, et portugallaste olekus oli hoopis miskit väga tuttavat. Põhilised hilinejad olid tegelikult teistest riikidest tulnud vabatahtlikud ja oma temperamendilt olid portugallased kohati sama rahulikud kui eestlasedki… kui just mitte poliitikast, fadost, ajaloost või toidust rääkida.

Elasin esialgu  ühes Lissaboni neljatoalises korteris koos Itaalia tüdruku, Saksa ja Austria noormehe, Saksa tüdruku, Horvaatia tüdruku ja tema poisssõbra ning nende koeraga. Viimased kolisid esimese kuu lõpus välja; aasta jooksul lahkusid ka mõned teised ja asemele tulid vabatahtlikud Hispaaniast, Prantsusmaalt ja Poolast. Leppisime juba päris alguses kokku, et oleme justkui üks suur pere, seega lepime üksteise veidrustega. Tänu kodusele segasummasuvilale õppisin palju nii erinevate kultuuride kui ka iseenese kohta. Juba sajandat korda köögikapile ilmunud räpased nõud (meil oli isegi nõudepesumasin!) või kuu aega resti peal kuivanud riided ei tähenda hoolimatust. Vahel nõud lihtsalt on. Riided on. Ja inimesed on alati olulisemad kui asjad.

Iga tööpäeva hommikul sõitsin koos kolme korterikaaslasega pisikesse külla Sintra lähedal, et seal ühes erivajadusega inimeste keskuses abistada. Kuna töökohas rakendati gentle teaching metoodikat, mille kohaselt 80% sekkumisest põhines suhtlemisel, möödusid mu päevad peamiselt kallistades, põsemusisid jagades ja vesteldes; samal ajal nendega koos midagi meisterdades, tantsides, kokates,  kohvikutes käies või youtube’st Disney laule kuulates.

Esialgu meenutas ligi seitsmekümne minule arusaamatus keeles rääkiva peamiselt vaimse puudega täiskasvanu nägemine mulle hullumaja, aga aja jooksul sain ise selle osaks. Seal ei olnud Downi sündroome või autiste, vaid erinevad inimesed. Romantik Tomas tegi oma komplimentidega iga neiu päeva ilusaks („Su silmad säravad veel eredamalt kui päike lõunataevas!“), Monicale meeldis väga teisi abistada, Rita soovis saada moedisaineriks ja joonistas igapäevaselt oma uusi kollektsioone, Fernanda armastas köögis toimetada ja porgandeid koorida, naerupall Afonsole meeldis end tüdrukuks pidada ja salaja küüsi lakkida. Igaüks oli oma erilisuses sama tavaline nagu iga teine inimene.

Töökoht oli justkui miniühiskond ja sealsed inimesed pisikesed peeglid: kõik, mis endast välja andsin, tuli lõpuks ringiga tagasi. Kui Gonsalo mind esimestel kuudel nii kõvasti kallistas, et hing pea kinni jäi, sain näiteks aru, et mul oli probleem enesekehtestamisega. Seega ütlesin talle, et saan kallistades haiget ja eelistan põsemusisid. Nii igal hommikul, kuni ühel hetkel mõistsin, et uus enesekehtestamisoskus oli ka välismaailmas levima hakanud. Suurest tänutundest kallistasin teda kõvasti, mistõttu meie oma tsüklit jälle otsast alustasime.

Puhkepäevad kulutasin enamasti reisimiseks. Portugal on väga ilus maa! Olgugi, et väike (kaks korda suurem kui Eesti), on sealne loodus põhjast lõunasse ja saartel täiesti erinev. Lisaks imelistele vaadetele sain seljakotireisidel ka osa portugallaste piiritust külalislahkusest. Kui küsisime kaaslasega teed lähima linnani, viidi meid sinna autoga kohale ja soovitati häid ööbimiskohti. Ühel korral jättis baarmen isegi oma kliendi letti valvama, et ta saaks mulle isiklikult näidata, kus lähim pood asus. Portugallaste jaoks oli see iseenesestmõistetav ja abist keeldumist loeti ebaviisakaks, isegi kui põhjenduseks tuua fakt, et külakostile tulles oli suur oht lennukist maha jääda.

Portugali läksingi eelkõige ennast tundma õppima ja oma mugavustsooni laiendama ning seda sain seal teha lõputult. Võõras maa, võõras keel ja võõrad inimesed ümberringi on isiklikuks arenguks üks täiuslik kompott.  Jälgisin pidevalt oma tundeid ja sisemist kompassi, üritades aru saada, mis suunas see liigub ja kuhu mind juhatada tahab. Vahel olin eksinud, vahel justkui seisin paigal, vahel lausa lendasin, aga alati olin teel. Täpselt seal, kus olema pidin. Portugalis veedetud aasta on kahtlemata mu senise elu kõige intensiivsem. Armastasin, naersin kõhukrampideni, nutsin esimest korda elus ennastunustavalt ja veel avalikus kohas; nägin hingematvalt ilusat loodust ja Portugali elu pahupoolt, sõin maailma parimaid saiakesi, jäin kohvist sõltuvusse, õppisin suhtlustasandil ära uue keele ja leidsin omale mõned maailma parimad sõbrad.

Õnneks on Euroopa piisavalt väike. Até já, queridos!*

*Peatse jällenägemiseni, kallikesed!
My Portugal

I remember when I first heard about EVS while walking on the streets of Tartu with a friend. At that exact moment I knew I would do it one day. Five years later, after graduating from the university and a year full of work, the time was there. I flew to Portugal to make a year-long voluntary service in a centre for disabled people.

Before arriving I thought Portugal was just a typical southern country. That the people there were late for every meeting at least for an half of hour; that instead of talking they just screamed all at the same time and that during the lunch time they had really long siestas. To my surprise I understood quite soon it was not the case. The majority of latecomers were actually volunteers from other countries and the nature of portuguese people was often as calm as an estonian one… unless they talked about politics, fado, history or food.

I lived in a four-room flat of Lisbon together with an Italian girl, German and Austrian boys, a German girl and a Croatian girl with her boyfriend and their dog. The last ones moved out by the end of the first month and during the year some more people were replaced by the volunteers from Spain, France and Poland. Already in the beginning we agreed on being a family which also meant accepting the others with all of their quirks. Thanks to this mixture of people I learned a lot not only about different cultures but as well about myself. Often the dirty dishes in the sink that appear there over and over again (despite the fact we even had a dish washing machine) or the clothes that had dried on a reck for months didn’t necessarily mean ignorance. Sometimes dishes just are. Clothes are. And the people are always more important than all of the things.

Every morning from Monday to Friday we took the train together with my three flatmates to a small village near Sintra in order to volunteer in our hosting organization. According to gentle teaching method used there 80% of the work consisted of creating the relationships and only 20% of technique. Therefore my days at work were mainly spent by hugging, kissing and having conversations with the clients, meanwhile making handicrafts, dancing, cooking, going to the cafeterias and listening to Disney songs in youtube.

My first impression after seeing almost 70 disabled grown-ups talking in a language I understood nothing about was as if I had somehow ended up in a bedlam. Without even noticing it I was soon a part of it. There were no Down syndromes or autistic but people with different character. The romanticist Tomas made every girl’s day happy with beautiful compliments („Your eyes are shining even brighter than the sun in the sky!“), Monica was keen into helping others, Rita wanted to become a designer so draw her new collections every day, Fernanda loved to work in the kitchen and to peel the carrots, shiny happy Afonso liked to act as a girl and secretly paint his nails. Every one of them was as normal in their singularity as every other person in the world.

My place of work was just like a mini society and the people there were little mirrors: everything I gave out eventually came back at me. When Gonçalo hugged me so tight during the first months that I couldn’t even breathe I realized I had a problem with assertiveness. So I told I him I preferred kisses on the cheeks instead. Repeated it every morning until one day I noticed that my new assertiveness-skill was also useful in the real world. So from great joy I hugged him tight which also meant we started our circle all over again.


Vacation days I spent mainly on travelling. Portugal is a beautiful country! Though small (two times larger than Estonia), the nature there varies from north to south and is even more different on the islands. Besides seeing the breath-taking views I could also witness the hospitality of locals. When we asked for the way to the nearest city we were just driven there and given a list of the best places to stay. Once a bartender even left his client to guard the bar so that he could take me personally to the nearest shop. For them it was a natural way of acting and a refusal was considered to be impolite. Even when the excuse was the fact that there was a great chance of missing the plane when eating together with them.

The main reason I went to Portugal after all was just to get to know myself better and to expand my comfort zone. This I could do there endlessly. A foreign country, a foreign language and foreign people around you is a perfect recipe for self growth. I was always trying to follow my feelings and that inner compass to figure out in which direction it wanted to lead me. There were times I was lost, times were I felt like standing in one place and times when I was just like flying but all of the time I was on the way. Exactly where I had to be. The year I spent in Portugal was by far the most intensive I have ever had. I loved, laughed until I got a stomach ache, cried once very loud in a public place with no strength to stop, I saw the breath-taking nature and the dark sides of Portuguese life, I ate the world’s best pastry and got addicted to coffee, learned a new language and met some of the most amazing people I have ever known.
Luckily the Europe is small enough. Até já, queridos!*

*See you soon, darlings!
2018-01-09T15:23:22+00:00